Friday, 30 January 2015
Little Rant about "Positive Thinking"!
The spin-off however means that no-one can have a moment's melancholy without some-one feeling the need to put them back on track with a nice positive statement..
In my opinion, what all the positive proponents didn't predict was that this "positivity" is, in fact, a way of shutting down empathy.
No longer are friends supposed to put a hand on your arm and give you a moment's indulgence by saying.... "That's bloody rough! Is there anything I can do to help?"
Instead they feel duty bound to ensure you are left with a nice uplifting positive statement. They think they are doing the right thing with this... but as happened for a friend, it stopped the conversation in its tracks....
'Ah, just you wait until the summer comes, you'll feel much better then.'
I've used this tactic myself when wanting to move away from discussing my health. I say something like, "Ah well better weather's coming, that should help!" .... And guess what it works! The conversation on my health is over!
So I now watch out for these "positive" statements, and recognise them for what they are... a way of boxing up problems and moving away from them in an apparently socially acceptable manner!
I guess most of us can't cope with too much reality at one time.
PS I wrote this on a Facebook group in response to a friend who found herself confronted with positive rebuttals when trying to express some of the difficulties with being ill.